It’s been a while.  I’ve never taken over a month to write up a race report and definitely not 3 months.  It’s been a tough few months.  Anxiety levels higher than ever before and for much longer than before.  I have hardly picked up my trainers recently.  October consisted of Downslink a couple of aborted runs that lasted 10 minutes and a couple of sessions that I coached.

The dark mist came down just before Downslink and was still hanging around like the horrible bastard that it is.  Self confidence has disappeared.  The thoughts that turn my brain to a shitty mush keep cropping up when I least need them. I’m finding that the slightest thing will knock me down.

Running is usually my escape, but I have just not been interested.  I’ve hidden behind the excuse of letting my body recover from a busy year, but it’s really a lack of interest and energy, as all of my energy is taken up with a whizzing brain.

Downslink didn’t work.  I do love this race.  The people are lovely, I really like the route, Jon was there taking cracking photos, but I wasn’t really up for it.

At least I got the 3rd of these little beauties.  Probably my last DLU medals for a while.

I wasn’t sure whether to do The Thames Meander.  I was undecided on whether my body was up to it.  I’m glad I did in the end.  I saw parts of the Thames that I’d never seen before.  This is a PB course if ever there was one and it is in essence a road marathon (ie no grass), but the surface is hard.  It’s an out and back.

Everything went swimmingly until mile 20, when it began to hurt.  I had probably set off a little too quickly, when a fast time was never really on the cards.

I’m really glad that I ran the Velothon again in December.  Another Sussex Trail Events race, this is 76 laps round the old velodrome in Brighton.  Somehow, this ended up being my 2nd quickest marathon ever.

The final event of the year was a special one.  Jan has been someone that Nick and I have looked up to from day one.  She was the first coach that I remember from the running club and she ignited my interest in marathon running and showed us the way to going beyond marathon distance.

Her 100th marathon was the Frozen Pheonix marathon on the banks of the river Thames.  The fact that it was laps meant that I could at least take part.  What a lovely thing to be part of.  Without her, the past 4 years would have been very different.

Well, that’s it.  A year of big ups and big downs.  I’m sure I’ll feel more positive about it all at some stage.  Just not now.